Could Have, Would Have, Should Have...

Oh, that I could have read the wisdom of Mason in the early years of my parenting. Oh, that I could have realized the enormity of my task in the dawning of my parenthood . I knew on some levels, but, oh, that I could have had a better understanding. I was young and inexperienced, naive and quite frankly, selfish. All the things I would have done differently.....but truly, there is no time to wallow in the past...it verges on doubting in the Hand of the Sovereign One who ordained me to walk this path. Plus in looking back, one thing that does stand out is God's hand working well before I acknowledged His grace and mercy. All the while, He was drawing me unto Himself and brought me into His Kingdom at the time He appointed. Questioning the working out of His will according to His ways must be blasphemous.

I can clearly see his grace upon grace and mercy upon mercy in those early years and it makes me all the more grateful. In His wisdom, He allowed me to become acquainted with the writing and teachings of Charlotte Mason during the sunset of my parenting. These writings help me understand how I could have been a better parent, but instead of dwelling on the mistakes, I praise Him for His grace. I was ( and continue to be) a slow learner, but He is long suffering with me. I praise Him more! So while my mothering is swiftly it seems coming to an end, He is here. He gives me a passion to share with others lessons I've learned (hopefully) from my successes as well as (perhaps, even more) my failures.

Today I read Chapter II of Parents and Children. Her weighty words from over a century ago at once convicted and inspired me. Mason's foresight is profound. I found myself asking, "How did she know?" several times.

Here's an excerpt and I encourage you to read it in its entirety here. I pray you are encouraged and edified and renewed in your purpose to fulfill the privilege of parenting to which you have been called.

Chapter 2 - Parents As Rulers
The Family Government is an Absolute Monarchy Let's continue our illustration of the family as a miniature nation that has the same responsibilities, rights and requirements that nations have. The parents are like the 'government,' but the parental government is always an absolute monarchy. It makes adjustments according to the needs of its citizens, but it rules in accordance to whatever laws the parent has engraved on his own conscience. Some parents reach levels of higher thinking and are like Moses when he came down from Mt. Sinai beaming, with the tablets of The Law whole and complete in his hands. Other parents never reach those challenging heights and have to be satisfied with whatever scraps and fragments of broken tablet they can find lying at the bottom of the mountain. But whether a parent's knowledge of the law is thorough or only a fragment, he can't escape his responsibility to rule his household.